nothing seems to be going right,
every time there is a positive there are two negatives
every time an up two downs
a high: two pitfalls
.
the ditch keeps digging itself farther and farther,
and i have no outlet for my rage and emotion
i have silence
.
it gets so quiet sometimes that all that is audible is my watch ticking
counting off the remaining seconds i have left in my life
.
i am not speechless,
merely wordless
i wish you never have to hear that silence
i wish you never have to experience it
.
.
.
i am the elephant that never forgets
endangered
a lonely wanderer
avoiding lions and hunters,
and although i remember everything
i am forgotten by those i love
maybe i should forget, too.
i can learn to forget. . .
i can learn very easily
sometimes it feels like the better alternative
and it all too often appears
that i am the one that keeps relationships alive
and that no one wants to keep one alive with me...
all i have is me.
abandoned like an old time building that still functions.
just bulldoze me already.