when will you come
i've waited patiently for so long
i've been good, been doing good
i just want you to appear
standing in my shoes feels like
nighttime looking down a bottomless well
leaning over the cold edge
pressing your hands on the cold wet stones
white knuckled everlooming tension anxiety
crumpled feathers and mandolin
i change my work
i change pace and flow and people and everything
and i feel unfree
love supressed;
undying and dying..
i think of how fun it'd be to take you to the carnival and realize that you don't exist
i don't even know who you are
because i've never seen you
or maybe i have but i haven't ..
where is this road taking me now?
i'm tired of the road.
i want to stop off and rest for a while
but no you keep motoring on
autopilot in the dark
fixed in one direction determined not to make mistakes anymore
to right the wrongs
to fix what has been broken
to detain all poisons and rid them
does it ever let up?
someone said, nothing is simple
nothing is
that's the way it is
all i want is for you to fill my heart with yours and fill yours with mine
i know you understand.
i know you feel it just like me.
i know i'm not alone.
i just feel like i've veered off the road in the wrong direction.
and for a long while i tried to reverse my course to find peace,
and realizing that road was detrimental
sought new directions
and all these new directions lead me down paths that i just can't for the life of me grasp with a full sense of happiness
i'd never go to that carnival without you.
not that we ever did.
but i thought about if we did.
it just
wouldn't be the same.